sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- jittery I started panicking today. I went to the gym to sit in the steam room to feel better. I stepped on the scale before I went in and then again after. Before the scale said 136, afterward it said 140. I went home and placed a 10 pounds weight on my scale to make sure it was correct and then it showed that I'm 131. I hate that weight. But it is better than 140. Time to seriously stop eating however. I hate myself sometimes. I can't seem to feel good enough. It doesn't help when people put me down as well. I feel all spacey, I finally broke down and took some sinus medicine. I hate taking that stuff. I don't like feeling light-headed and jittery. It's a awful feeling. Maybe that's why I never could get into drugs, like pot. I've smoked it before but I hate that feeling of being out of control. Nah, just give me peace and quiet and I'm cool. I think I'll take the day off tomorrow though. I need a break from using my voice. I've done enough yelling this week. 9:39 p.m. - 2002-02-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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