sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Purged I am such a loser!! I ate, got rid of it all. I am back to the same weight I was 130. I hate myself. My stomach is flat. I'm not sure what to do now. I have been purging all night. I don't want that crap in me. I was feeling so horrible today.. My legs hurt my head was dizzy and I was so tired. I ate felt better, within a half an hour I purged it all. The good feeling remained. But I didn't stop there, I ate a little more, got rid of it. Just now I had a half a bowl of ice-cream, got rid of it. Maybe I'll just do that for awhile. Now that I think of it I was 125 until I fasted the last time . Maybe my body sees itself as starving and hangs on to it all. Oh well... Here we go again. I almost thought that I should just quit and live normal. I can't. It scares me. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Bah, humbug!!! 9:56 p.m. - 2002-04-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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