sapphire02's Diaryland Diary

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Depression

Feeling a little headachey. I couldn't sleep well again last night.

A guy I work with always seems to know when I'm not feeling well. He always asks. I said okay... but I feel myslef going into a depression.

Work is crazy the kids are crazy. I had to stop 4 kids from acting like they were having sex in the fields. I was so mad. They are only in 3 grade.

I was mad because of how much they knew, either someone has watched pornos or someone has been molested.

After that I just started to cry in the bathroom. I feel like I can't reach certain ones. They are going to make some huge huge mistakes in life.

I don't know how to make them see. Not when their parents are alot of the problem. Besides, I nervous about my own growing up. I pray I do a good job. I never want to be the cause of serious emotional problems. And yet I see it is a possiblity. Because of my husbands drinking. I can't seem to find another job. That's another source of my depression. I feel hoepless and helpless. My husband got mad cause my daughter sees the school councelor. I guess they all work meet for IP meetings. He said that she shouldn't be going.l I told him that if he didn't have that problem, there would be no need for her to go.

Then late last night my insecurities come out. I feel so lonely and think maybe it's just me with the problem. I KNOW it's not true but I can't help but to be co-dependent sometimes. This hurts too much. I'm stopping. I'll write later.

5:35 p.m. - 2002-05-23

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