sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tired of Binging Good morning. My stomach is hurting today. I feel so full and I have not eaten anything. Last night my boyfriend made me keep down some potato and eggs. I guess I should'nt worry about how many calories are in that, a total of maybe 300? I don't know. I am tired of binging. I stare at my hands in disgust, I can see the scars on my kuckles, I can still smell the vomit. My boyfrined has been really supportive in this whole thing. I'm just scared that one day he'll get disgusted and want to leave. Either that or I'll get so upset that I'll start hiding all of it. I just don't know what to do most of the time. I read other people's journals and quite frankly, I get jealous over the amount of weight they've lost. How come I'm not losing any? Thinking like this only causes me to stay trapped in this cycle. I just want to starve, is that so much? I would save so much money if I could stick with it. Alight, I don't bitching and moaning. Let's see how good I can keep this going. 6:31 a.m. - 2004-03-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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