sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am the living damned These thoughts have slowly begun to overtake me and I can't breathe. I no longer care to breathe. I came home and ate about a half a cup of peanuts. I don't want anymore. Should I get hungry later I'll eat salad. Again. My head hurts. My boyfriend read this journal today. Part of me is glad simply because it speaks words and my feelings that I cannot. I find myself more honest in this one. I need him so badly and yet I cannot go to him. I'm glad now he knows. He can't get upset and try and convince me that I'm sick. Not that I don't already know that He can only experience the true form of this madness, and think carefully of what he is going to say..or not. All day long, I've thought about nothing but food. What I'll eat once I get home. I no longer want it. I thought about what I'd do if I ate wrong.... purging. I don't want to do it. The clouds of my mind have settled, and they are brewing a storm. I feel like I am the living damned. 5:08 p.m. - 2004-06-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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