sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Trying so hard to quit I am sitting in the dark because it just seems appropriate. I feel so uncomfortable with myself. Overcoming one's faults and bad habits is a hard thing to do. I'm trying. I'm trying to stop purging. To stop eating period. These things take time I know. Today I purged lunch then again after work. I was all set to do it again at dinner when suddenly it just seemed too much. So I prayed. God was gracious and answered my prayer, I bought a salad instead. One blessing? They forgot to put the salad dressing on it, so I had to use my own. Mine only has 50 cals. and it was sugar and carb free. I maybe used 25 cals worth. What am I going to do for food? I don't really know what to eat anymore. I know that meat makes you lose faster than non-fat. I need to but calories and carbs. Only it's so hard because meat has a lot of cals. I just wish I didn't eat at all. I wonder if I can do that at all? I did once. Why can't I now? 11:08 p.m. - 2004-07-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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