sapphire02's Diaryland
Diary
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I'm taking up too much space
This is the lowest weight I have ever been as a grown up...Yet, I feel no sense of acomplishment. Why is that? I've struggles so hard to lose this weight, to free myself of the burden that hold me down. All I can see is that it is not good enough. I stare at my ribs, wanting to see the space therein. I look at my toes and fingers, checking the width of space around each one. I don't want to be skinny any longer. I want to be space. I stop measureing with tapes and rods long ago. I place fingers inside to see if it's the same. To see if the sharpness remains. I press my fingers down deep into my hips, surpassing the sharp hills, I head down into the valleys. Pressing until it hurts. If I'm bloated I know it.. There is too much of me. I am taking up too much space.
5:30 p.m. - 2004-10-07
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