sapphire02's Diaryland Diary

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~smiles~

Today I didn't purge. My stomach is HUGE!
I'm taking water pills to get rid of it.
Friday....

I'm getting married to the man literally of my dreams:

I posted this in my other journal:

When I was 14 I would day-dream about a man that would save me literally. I was running away from an abusive husband. I had two children a boy and girl . The girl was first born.

It started off as a marriage of "convience" He needed a wife, I needed someone to support me.
He was strong, but very insecure about his position in life. I was weak but became strong.

Well, I met no Brandon's in my teen years..lots of Daniels and Joes.
I settled for Daniel and had a daughter..then a son, who I named after my dream.

Life was as my dream suggested. Abused, and wishing to die I prayed for God to save me. He promised to save me. (June '00) After 4 years. I rebelled. Four years was too long...especially after 10 years of abuse. He gave me a promise verse. Though I doubted, part of me believed. I prayed that the one who would spend his life with me would give that to me. I figured if Gideon could do it..then so could I.
I finally ran away, permanetely last Sept. I met a man on LJ, who was a father. He liked my writing. He told his brother about me. His brother added me. I was at my lowest, my grandfather had just passed away. I was trying to get out of my marriage. My uncle allowed me to move in my grandfathers house.
This man I met Brandon..told me the night before I left without a word..to run.
Just get out.
I did.

He saved me. Without him I never would have left at least not until the conditions were right. He helped me escape from the torture of my ex.

We fell in love... He moved out here April. (4, 2004) One day I was doing laundry and a slip of paper fell out of his shirt. my promise verse
I said..what is this?
He said..Oh, it was a verse of strength that I was going to give you.
I burst into tears.
I knew he was the one

Here we are. In June of 04 I went to court for my divorce. 4 years later after my dream...

Yet we still struggled =..just like my dream 14 years ago.

On the 31st..not my choosing mind you, I wanted to on Jan 1st cause it was a Saturday. We will be married

The last day of four years. Just like God promised.
You can see it in writing for yourselves.
I started this journal in June 2000.
I talked about it all the time.
It's there in writing. This whole journal...

Only God could have done this..

No other explanation could possible do.
None.
This is the hand of God...the only God.

Jesus.

I owe it all to Him.

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Right now, we are not close. Too much stress over trying to make a perfect wedding. I've had to work, him and his family are putting the wedding together.
I miss him
He cried on the phone today and said he missed me.

We will be just fine

1:35 a.m. - 2004-12-30

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