sapphire02's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Panic Attacks

I can feel it in my stomach at times. It's waves welling up, I can see myself in my mind screaming on top of my lungs. Not in anger, but that hair-straighting, blood-curdling high pitched sound that causes ice to shatter. I bite my lips to keep quiet.
It's Saturday night. Sunday is tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll go to church, my sister will be flying in.

For Tuesday.

Then on Monday, Lord only knows who will be arriving. My face will remain impassive, unless Brandon corners me to ask me what's wrong. Most likely I'll snap back that nothing is and try and escape.
I'll fight with my dad, cause we always do. Not a serious one, but bantering that will cause me to laugh, and forget for a minute.

Then comes Tuesday.

All of this anixous energy.....


Today was nice, this afternoon I mean. Brandon and the children came and met me for lunch at work. It's the night-time I'm struggling with. Nights and early morning.

I'm trying to remain positive. So I'll count my blessings right now.

  • God loves me

  • I have a very loving husband

  • I have great children

  • I have a warm house

  • I have a job

  • In about a month I'll be completely debt free

  • That one bears to be repeated again.... with my tax return, I'll owe nothing on anything
  • So why do I tremble so much?

    I am trying to purge myself away.

    8:46 p.m. - 2005-02-19

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    previous - next

    latest entry

    about me

    archives

    notes

    DiaryLand

    contact

    random entry

    other diaries:

    evangeline06
    fleshandbone
    aqualimestar
    dimstar
    luxelady
    anadoll
    dissolving