sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19.4 BMI 19.4 This sucks greatly. I need to be smaller than that. I used to be and I miss it. How do I get back to that point? I should go back to counting calories. Who am I kidding. I never really stopped counting them. Yesterday I purged. It felt great. No I'm not getting better in the slightest. ------------- I am not sure what I'll do. I'm thinking, whatever it takes. There are other issues that seem to trigger me as well. My boyfriend and I are trying to abstain from having sex before marriage. That's so hard for me. So when I slip, I notice the first thing I do is "punish" myself. He'd die if he ever found out. Purging the evil out of me. Yesterday a woman came up to me and made the comment that I was getting too skinny. It pleased me so much I vowed not to give up my "disorder" not just yet.... 7:25 a.m. - 2004-05-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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