sapphire02's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am not ready to stop I'm not ready to stop. Each day I look in the mirror and look at the space between the thighs, hoping it has not grown smaller. Each morning I place my fingers upon my ribs, feeling them sink into the crevices. When I get worried I hold to my collar bones, finding comfort there. When I am upset, I press deeply into my stomach, trying to empty all of the hurts and fears. At night, I lie down and hold onto my hip bones. Grasping them firmly. I have just noticed my fingers, what once retained water, now slim, my rings sliding easily up and down. My feet have bones I never knew where there before. I have learned to hug my back and feel the bump, bump, bump of my spine. I for the first time find comfort in this. This has also become my prison. My bones are bars, they serve to shield me from the world as well as keep me trapped in the silence of ana. I am not ready to give that up. 7:26 a.m. - 2004-09-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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