sapphire02's Diaryland Diary

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Cleaning to lose

Four pounds lost this week. Still a long way to go to reach where I had been. I feel a little more in control than I have been. I am filling my day with cleaning this house. This house represents me. It's full of stuff and no place to put it.
A lot of my habits are left-overs from my first marriage. There are starting to create trouble for my new one.
The eating
The weight
The self-loathing
The cleaning
The drinking

It causes me to tremble in fear at times. I really don't want to destroy my relationship with Bradon. I love him so much.
He has helped me in so many ways. I am eternally grateful to him.
I just don't want to become a disappointment to him.

Pease God, don't let me ruin this

1:01 p.m. - 2005-02-07

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